Saturday, January 5, 2008

Rethinking Some Things

I have never been one to make New Year's Resolutions, and I don't plan to start now. But, it has been my habit for years now to take some time at the start of each New Year to reflect on the past year, and to set goals for the coming year. We've been so busy this past week that today is the first time I've really had a chance to do that. As is typical of me, I have to sort of categorize my thoughts in order to clarify them. I use this blog for that a lot, so if you're brave enough to venture inside my head, then read on! :)

SPIRITUAL MATTERS
2007 was a year of tremendous spiritual growth for me. A lot of things that I have been taught all of my life really hit home and became 'concrete' for me in 2007. For Example:

I have been told that sometimes God lets us have what we THINK we want, so that we can truly SEE and KNOW that we didn't want it or need it as much as we thought we did. I KNOW that now, in a way I never really knew it before. God let me have some things in 2007 that I thought I really wanted, even thought I NEEDED, and I found out that things aren't always what they're cracked up to be.

My Dad is a preacher, and has been since I was an infant. Because of that, I have met and known MANY preachers throughout my lifetime. I know that preachers are not perfect, and that they all make mistakes, stumble, and some even knowingly preach things that are not the truth, or they preach only "selective" truth. It was not until 2007 though, that I actually experienced a preacher who said all the right things, but then did not live those things out at all, and I have seen how devestating that can be. I think many church members don't realize how much trust they place in their pastor, or how much they look to him as an example, until they see him stumble or fall, and see how deeply it affects them. It's hard enough when you are hurt by someone who claims to be a christian, but when the person who deeply wounds you is someone who has asked you to place yourself under his spiritual headship, that wound is devestating. I also learned though, that God can heal even those devestating wounds, and give you a heart to pray for the one who wounded you.

Another thing I've heard said since childhood is that often times, Christians can be the most vicious people in the world. I saw a bit of that during a situation that occured when I was a teenager. I witnessed a group of christians turn on a brother in Christ like a pack of wolves. But, being a teenager, I was still living at home with my parents, and was somewhat shielded from the full impact of that viciousness.

This year, I was able to look back on a situation that happened a year or so ago, and looking at it as an adult and as a christian, I could again see the viciousness of some of those that call themselves christians. I saw false accusations fly, I saw evidence "trumped up" to support those accusations, and I saw how it devestated one family. I know that family is in God's care, and that He will heal their hurts as well, but it has taken me a little longer this time to get over the fact that all of this hatred and visciousness took place smack in the middle of a church. What an absolute disgraceful shame!!

I learned, in 2007, that time spent DAILY alone with God and His Word is as important as air to breathe. I also learned that while many people feel compelled to give God the FIRST part of their time each day, I choose to give him my BEST time each day. For me, that is NOT first thing in the morning. When I was having my private time with God first thing in the morning, I found that it was often rushed and "foggy" because I am NOT a morning person. That is definitely not my best time! So, instead, I wait now until everyone else in the house is in bed. This often means going to bed at the same time as my dh, but then get back up after he goes to sleep. It's a WONDERFUL way to end the day, and I've found that I sleep better when I do this too! :)

MARRIAGE MATTERS
What I've discovered about my marriage in 2007 is that I am a very, very lucky woman. I'm not bragging on me or my husband when I say that~I'm bragging on God. This year, I have seen marriages, both christian and non-christian, that are miserable. I've seen wives suffer with controlling, verbally abusive husbands. I've seen supposedly christian couples who snap and bark at each other like stray dogs; and others who seem to just ignore each other completely. Both are very sad to see, and I am just so thankful that my dh and I have the relationship that we have. We are very blessed.

I have some thoughts on Family and Homeschooling matters too, but I'm going to have dinner with my family now, so those will have to wait for a "Part 2" post.

In His Love,
Vicki

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