What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been~

As I've spent some time this morning making some preparations for Christmas, my thoughts have wandered over the last year, and over the last 5 months in particular. Even now, as we are just coming out of a storm, so to speak, it is overwhelming to me to think of all that God has done.

Those who know us are familiar with some of what we have faced. My husband became ill in early July of this year. Within days, what had begun as one illness seemed to morph into several different conditions all at once. We do not know, and will probably never know for sure, whether the conditions my husband faced were all medically related to one another, or whether having them all occur so close together was simply a part of God's plan.

I think we must have felt, at some point during the last 5 months, every emotion that it is possible to feel~fear for his health, and a brief period of fear for his life.

There was frustration with our inability to "get a handle" on my husband's condition, weariness with the seemingly endless medical appointments, moments of fear over what the next medical test might reveal, concern over the financial fall out of all the time lost at work and the ever mounting medical bills, and I could go on and on.

However, what I really sat down here to write today was about all the GOOD things that have happened to us along the way, and the amazing God that we serve, Who gave us these gifts in the midst of our storm.

He led us to EXACTLY the right doctor for our family. I was SO upset a couple of years ago when our doctor, whom we liked very much and felt we could trust, decided to leave his private practice. I see God's hand in it now. He led us to a doctor who loves the Lord and is not shy about sharing that with his patients. Several times over the last five months, our doctor has stood in the esamination room and prayed with us, and let us know that he is praying for us. That has meant SO much to us.

There came a night during all of this when the onset of yet another medical conditon caused my husband to undergo a sudden and marked personality change. This was a VERY unsettling thing, but God was present through it all, and He allowed us to feel His presence in an almost tangible wasy. God also worked miracles the next morning by removing scheduling obstacles and other hindrances so we were able to find and begin treating the problem quickly.

God has been good, and merciful, and faithful to us. While my husband has been through a LOT in the last five months, we know that it could have been so much worse.
While we both have had moments of asking God why He allowed all of this to happen, we both take comfort in knowing that HE has a plan, whether we can clearly see it or not.

God has led us to not only the primary care doctor we needed, but every specialist to whom we have been referred, (all 6 of them!) have been caring and helpful. We have come in contact with some wonderful folks in the medical profession, many of them christians~from many of the nurses who cared for my husband during his six day hospitalization, to the nurses, assistants, technicians, and office staff of every doctor we have seen, I cannot think of a single time when we encountered anyone who seemed uncaring, unprofessional, or incompetent at their jobs. Given the number of medical professionals with whom we have come in contact, that is remarkable.

We have witnessed God's miracle of healing. It may have come slowly, but it came in God's time. We have witnessed financial miracles~income from completely unexpected sources, bills being paid when, in man's view, there was no way to pay them, but God made a way. My husband missed a solid three moths of work due to his illness, and more than that when you consider his hospitalization and the large number of days missed for medical appointments, and yet, our bills have been paid, there has always been more than enough food on the table, the money has been there for ALL of the seemingly endless co-pays and prescriptions, and our children have had everything they needed, and then some. ONLY our loving, all mighty Heavely Father can do that!!

Beyond the excellent medical care and the financial provisions, God has blessed us with so much more. All of the time out of work, while financially difficult, has allowed us time toghether as a family that we would not otherwise have had. Our children have been first hand witnesses to the power of prayer, the power of God, and what it feels like to truly have His peace that passes all understanding. To say that this is pricelss is an understatement.

I have come to beleive that sometimes God DOES let us have our cake and eat it too, as the saying goes. In addition to restoring my husband's health and meeting all of our needs, we have just come back from a wonderful weekend trip with family, we've been able to put more gifts under our tree than we thought would be possible this year, and I will be spending the next couple of days preparing for what I know will be a joyous and peaceful celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior.

On that note, we want to say thanks, with all our heats, to everyone who helped us through these last five months~during the time that my husband was out of work, we had folks come by the house with groceries, others shared provisions to meet specific needs, some cared for our children during my husband's hospitalization and many, many medical appointments, and many more called, sent notes, and prayed. We are grateful to each and every one.

We don't believe that God is finished yet. We believe that some of God's purposes in all of this have yet to come to light, and that He has and is still using all that's happened in the last five moths for our good, and for His glory. Praise His Holy Name!

In His Love,
Vicki

So, Why Are YOU Weird?

My kids are constantly telling me I'm weird. When I tell my 13 year old that I would never have been caught dead wearing jeans with holes in them at her age, she says "Mom, you're weird". When I tell my 11 year old daughter that her hair hanging in her face bugs me, she says "Mom, you're weird." When I turn up the radio and sing along, my 9 year old son says, "Mom, you're weird".

So, I've come to accept the fact that, for one reason or another, my kids are going to think I'm weird. That's okay. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it :)) Tonight, as I watched one of the sessions of Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself study, she gave an illustration. She shared the fact that one of the ways she enjoys praising God is by applauding Him when He answers prayers or shows Himself in her life. One day, after finding something they really needed while out running errands, Beth asked her college aged daughter to join her in giving God a round of applause. Her daughter, with a grin, said "Mom, you are the weirdest person in the entire world!"

My first thought was that I am so glad that other people's children think they are weird too!! YAY! I feel so much better now! Then, I thought about this~my kids think I"m weird because of my opinion of the current fashions and hair styles, and my music, and my quirky likes and dislikes. Beth's daughter called her weird because of the way she chose to express praise to God. You know what? I think I"m a little jealous!!

Let's face it. If you have children above the age of 5, I'm almost positive that they think you are weird for SOME reason, so why not let it be for how you praise God, or how excited you get over church services on Sunday morning, or how happy you are to go to Bible study every week, or how you pray about EVERYTHING ?

So, why are YOU weird?
Blessings,
Vicki

The Best Laid Plans

Listen to me. Hold close what you have. Your wives, husbands, and children. Every fantasy I had that what is precious to me is too good to be taken was destroyed last night. There are NO guarantees. Every moment we have here is a gift. Live that while you can.

What you read above are the words of Christian Hooker, who last night lost his wife and the mother of his 5 precious daughters to a massive heart attack. Christina was just 35 years old, and in apparent good health 2 days ago. She was a loving wife and adoring, homeschooling Mom to 5 girls, ages 3 to 15.

It seems, as I look around me today, that there is SO much suffering everywhere! Last week, I learned that my friend Lisa had not survived a risky surgery. Just a few days later, antoher friend, Jim, died suddenly of a heart attack. Then, I got word that Christina, whose husband's words are quoted above, was in ICU fighting for her life. That same night, I learned that my friend Mary Ann's cancer has returned, and that the doctors are offering her no hope.

I sit here and comtemplate all of this, and my own problems, which seemed so large a few days ago, now seem insignificant. My husband became ill in mid-July. He spent 6 days in the hospital and the next 3 months unable to work, or even to drive. But, because of God's grace, there was never a point at which his life was in danger. The condition he had could have developed in to something dangerous, but it did not.

Certainly, we struggled with "cabin fever" at times, with neither of us being able to drive, and even now, we are feeling the financial effects of his having been out of work for so long. Yes, life has been something of a struggle for the last 3 months, but today, it matters not in the least.

Late last night, I found myself unable to sleep, and talking with God. I did what I think many of my friends were doing~I asked God WHY? Why take Lisa, when her family needed her? Why break the hearts of Jim's mother, wife, daughters, and all who loved him by taking him so suddenly? Why NOT grant full, immediate healing to Mary Ann, a mother of 3 who has all ready battled cancer twice? WHY take Christina from the husband, parents, and sister who loved her so much, and the 5 sweet girls who need her so much??

As you might have guessed, I didn't get a clear answer for any of my questions. What I DID get was the Holy Spirit repeatedly bringing 2 Scriptures to my mind:

Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV)
For I knwo the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Isaiah 55:8,9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my thoughts than your thoughts.

That was the Holy Spirit reiterating to me that I cannot and will not always understand God's plan, but at the same time reassuring me that He HAS a plan.

As I thought on these Scriptures, I began to contemplate some other whys~ Why have I been spared so many things? I've dealt with illness at times, as has my husband but I have never suffered a devestating illness, or had a close family member suffer a catastrophic illness. We have financial hardships, but we've never lost our home, as some of my friends have. Why not?

I don't know. My first reaction is to say "because of the goodness and mercy of God", and in one way, that is true. But, that implies that God has been good and mreciful to ME, but not to Lisa, or Jim, or Mary Ann, or Christina, and that is certainly not true. Any one of them will testify to the goodness and mercy of God.
So, it's not that I have been spared a great deal because God loves me more, or has more mercy or grace for me. I beleive it is simply because His plan for me is not the same plan He has for others.

I am still praying today. I am praying for a miraculous peace and comfort for Lisa's family, for Jim's family, and for Christina's family. I"m praying for peace and a supernatural healing for Mary Ann. And for myself, I am praying that God won't let me forget how I feel today. I am praying that He will constantly remind me to stop complaining, to treasure the time He has given me with the people I love, and most of all, to embrace His plan for my life, trusting that it is for my good.

I fervently pray that each of you will do the same.
In His Love,
Vicki

They Have No Wine

I heard some teaching from Beth Moore recenly, via the "Life Today with James and Betty Robison" television show. It stuck with me, but I wasn't really sure why~wich is to say that I wasn't sure how to apply it to myself, exactly. Then, I took a look back at my last blog post. After I recovered from my surprise at how long it's been since I posted anything on the blog, I re-read my last post.

In that post, I wrote about what Jesus can do with the little that we have, if we just bring it to Him. Then, the significance of what I heard Beth Moore speak about clicked for me. She spoke from John 2:1-10. This portion of Scripture tells the story of the wedding at Cana, during wich Jesus performed His first recorded miracle.
Beth placed particular emphasis on Mary's words to her Son. " They have no more wine".

Not "there's only a little wine left" but "They have NO MORE wine."

So, this thought came to me. I know that even when I only have a little, I can take it to Jesus and He can make it more than enough. But what about those times when there is just NO MORE? Not even a little~but really, truly, NO MORE.

I defintely have times of feeling like I have NO MORE, and I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. I think we all have moments when there is just no more~no more money to pay the bills, no more tolerance for aggravation, no more patience for the trials of life, no more love to show toward those around us, no more wisdom to figure anything out, no more energy to expend any effort, no more time to accomplish everything that needs to get done, no more....well, you fill in the blank.

So, what do we do then? Well, we do what Mary did. She went to Jesus, and said "There is no more wine". And what did Jesus do? He created wine where there wasn't any. You see, He's God. He can do that :)

He CAN create more resources, more tolerance, more patience, more love, more energy, more.....you fill in the blank.

Just as Jesus can take the little bit that you have and make it more than enough, he can create something from nothing. We need only to go to Him and say "Lord, there is no more_______. If we give it to Him, trusting Him completely, He will give us more than enough, even where there was no more.
Blessings,
Vicki