Listen to me. Hold close what you have. Your wives, husbands, and children. Every fantasy I had that what is precious to me is too good to be taken was destroyed last night. There are NO guarantees. Every moment we have here is a gift. Live that while you can.
What you read above are the words of Christian Hooker, who last night lost his wife and the mother of his 5 precious daughters to a massive heart attack. Christina was just 35 years old, and in apparent good health 2 days ago. She was a loving wife and adoring, homeschooling Mom to 5 girls, ages 3 to 15.
It seems, as I look around me today, that there is SO much suffering everywhere! Last week, I learned that my friend Lisa had not survived a risky surgery. Just a few days later, antoher friend, Jim, died suddenly of a heart attack. Then, I got word that Christina, whose husband's words are quoted above, was in ICU fighting for her life. That same night, I learned that my friend Mary Ann's cancer has returned, and that the doctors are offering her no hope.
I sit here and comtemplate all of this, and my own problems, which seemed so large a few days ago, now seem insignificant. My husband became ill in mid-July. He spent 6 days in the hospital and the next 3 months unable to work, or even to drive. But, because of God's grace, there was never a point at which his life was in danger. The condition he had could have developed in to something dangerous, but it did not.
Certainly, we struggled with "cabin fever" at times, with neither of us being able to drive, and even now, we are feeling the financial effects of his having been out of work for so long. Yes, life has been something of a struggle for the last 3 months, but today, it matters not in the least.
Late last night, I found myself unable to sleep, and talking with God. I did what I think many of my friends were doing~I asked God WHY? Why take Lisa, when her family needed her? Why break the hearts of Jim's mother, wife, daughters, and all who loved him by taking him so suddenly? Why NOT grant full, immediate healing to Mary Ann, a mother of 3 who has all ready battled cancer twice? WHY take Christina from the husband, parents, and sister who loved her so much, and the 5 sweet girls who need her so much??
As you might have guessed, I didn't get a clear answer for any of my questions. What I DID get was the Holy Spirit repeatedly bringing 2 Scriptures to my mind:
Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV)
For I knwo the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Isaiah 55:8,9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my thoughts than your thoughts.
That was the Holy Spirit reiterating to me that I cannot and will not always understand God's plan, but at the same time reassuring me that He HAS a plan.
As I thought on these Scriptures, I began to contemplate some other whys~ Why have I been spared so many things? I've dealt with illness at times, as has my husband but I have never suffered a devestating illness, or had a close family member suffer a catastrophic illness. We have financial hardships, but we've never lost our home, as some of my friends have. Why not?
I don't know. My first reaction is to say "because of the goodness and mercy of God", and in one way, that is true. But, that implies that God has been good and mreciful to ME, but not to Lisa, or Jim, or Mary Ann, or Christina, and that is certainly not true. Any one of them will testify to the goodness and mercy of God.
So, it's not that I have been spared a great deal because God loves me more, or has more mercy or grace for me. I beleive it is simply because His plan for me is not the same plan He has for others.
I am still praying today. I am praying for a miraculous peace and comfort for Lisa's family, for Jim's family, and for Christina's family. I"m praying for peace and a supernatural healing for Mary Ann. And for myself, I am praying that God won't let me forget how I feel today. I am praying that He will constantly remind me to stop complaining, to treasure the time He has given me with the people I love, and most of all, to embrace His plan for my life, trusting that it is for my good.
I fervently pray that each of you will do the same.
In His Love,
Vicki
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