Sometimes, That Still, Small Voice Is Really Loud!!

I am having a tough week. This weekend, my husband in being sent out of town to work on a special project for his full time job. That means he's going to miss a day on his part time job. So, he's working EXTRA hours at his pt job this week, to cover the housrs that he'll miss there on Friday. On top of that, we found out that we will have to pay the travel expenses up front, and be re-imbursed by the company later. It's nice that we'll be re-imbursed, but that meant we had to do some "budget juggling" to come up with the cash dh will need for the trip. UGH!

And, the cherry on top of all of this is that dh has a new supervisor on his full time job. Dh currently works 6am to 2pm. The new manager is considering the possibility of changing their hours to 3am to 11am, or 5am to 1pm!! Ugh, Ugh, and UGH!!! But, that isn't definite yet, so we're praying the new guy will leave the 6am to 2pm thing alone.

I am not able to drive, so dh being gone more than usual this week, and the fact that he will be gone all weekend means I've been doing a lot of schedule juggling, and jumping through hoops to arrange transportation to places we needed to go. So, I've been a little tense. Not TERRIBLY so, but a little more tense than I would normally be. Yesterday morning, I was absolutely ready to hang my 6yo son from the ceiling fan by his toes!!!

He not only balked at EVERYTHING I asked him to do, but he was CONSTANTLY underfoot in the kitchen asking if he could help with the cooking that I was trying to get done. I let him pour and stir a couple of things, then tried to "shoo him off" again. It didn't work. Finally, in frustration, I said to my son "How come you're so eager to "help" me in the kitchen, but you won't do the things that I actually ASK you to do?!" He gave me his silly grin and mumbled something about helping in the kitchen being more fun, but I barely heard him, because as soon as my question left my mouth, I could hear the still, small voice of the Lord in my ear. But this time, it was more like a shout, saying, Yes, that's a GOOD question!! Why DO you want to help in the ways YOU want to help, but you balk at doing what I ASK you to do?"

Whoa. How right on is that? How often do I find myself thinking"Oh, sure, I don't mind going to church to worship the Lord, and I don't mind tithing, and I'll even sing in church, but Lord, I am so tired, and I sure wish it wasn't my trun to teach in Children's Church today!" Or, "Lord, I don't mind tithing, but I sure wish you'd give me liberty to work outside my home so we could have more money. Other people do it, Lord, why can't I?"

I am, put simply, a spiritual whiner. I WANT to serve the Lord, and I WANT to be faithful, and I WANT to bring glory to God, but the truth is, I want to do it the way *I* want to do it, not neccesarily the way God ASKS me to serve Him.

I expect my children to help me by doing ALL that I ask of them, not just the things they WANT to do. God expects NOTHING LESS of me. Wow. That still, small voice really shouted this time. I need to take stock and be sure that I'm doing all that He asks of me, and not just picking and choosing how I serve Him. I want to OBEY, not just pick and choose how I will serve the Lord.
In Him,
Vicki