Stumbling Block or Stepping Stone?

When I was a child, I was not allowed to wear pants. My father had been taught that it was "sinful" for a female to wear pants. When I was still in elementary school, my Dad went one day to the home of a christian man that he really looked up to and trusted. This man's wife AND daughter were wearing pants. So, my Dad decided to talk to this man about it. They sat down together with their Bibles, and this man showed my Dad that there is nothing in Scripture that says a woman should not wear pants. It DOES say that she should not wear clothing pertaining to a man, but it is man's tradition, NOT God's law, that says that pants pertain to men.

Anyway, after more study of Scripture and much prayer, my sisters and I were allowed to wear pants at certain times, to certain places. I still remember getting my first pair of jeans when I was 9 years old. As time went on, we wore them more and more often until, eventually, it was no longer an issue.

But, there was one place we NEVER wore pants~when we went to visit our dear friend Mr Allen~or whenever we were going anywhere that we knew Mr Allen would be. He did not like women wearing pants, he believed it was wrong, and he was offended by it. I loved Mr Allen dearly, and would NEVER have done anything to offend him, so I never even WANTED to wear pants around him.

Then, when I was a teenager, my Dad pastored a small church. We wore pants to church, but usually only on Sunday night and Wednesday night~generally not on Sunday mornings. There was one man in the church who was REALLY bothered by this. But, it never bothered me to wear pants around this man even though I knew he didn't like it. So what was the difference?

The difference was that I loved Mr Allen. I did not like this man in our church. He was very pushy, and I found him obnoxious and hard to get along with, so I actually took PLEASURE in wearing pants to church because I knew it bugged him.

You know what? I was wrong to do that.

Even though I had a "right" to wear pants to church if I wanted to, I was wrong to do it. Even though I had permission from the man who is both my father and my pastor to wear pants to church, I didn't NEED to wear pants to church. I could have worn dresses and not offended that man. So, why didn't I?

Because I was a kid, both literally and spiritually.

I"m not saying we should ALWAYS forgo our rights for the benefit of someone else. I'm not going to give up my right to homeschool our children just because I have some extended family members who don't like it.

However, I DO think there are times when we need to "be the grown up" and forfeit our rights for the benefit of someone who is not as far along in their christian walk as we are, and may not yet understand many of the freedoms we have.

We have a dear friend who is Jewish. He accepted Christ as his Savior just a few years ago. I love having him here to visit with us, especially at Easter and Christmas. This man does not eat pork. Now, I love ham, and I love pork chops and bacon, but I will NOT serve any of those things in my home when he is here. I have a RIGHT to serve those things if I want to, but I choose not to offend our friend. I can eat other things. I don't NEED to eat in front of him the things that are offensive to him.

I used to tell my self that that man in our church SHOULDN'T be offended bv my wearing pants, and that he needed to "get over it". Maybe my Jewish friend, especially now that he is a christian, SHOULDN'T be offended by our eating ham at Easter.

But that won't change the fact that this man WAS offended by my pants, and my friend IS offended when he is served pork, so the question then becomes, What am I going to do with that?

I Corinthians 8:8~13 speaks of this . Verse 9 says, in the KJV, "But take heed, lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak".

I find myself wondering this morning how many "young in the faith" christians I have caused to stumble because I did something in their presence that I knew they were offened by.

With just about anything that you do, there is always going to be the possiblity that someone is going to be offended by it. We cannot live in constant fear of offending someone~I don't believe God intends for us to live that way at all. But, if we are in a situation in which we KNOW that someone could be offended by our actions or words, then we have a choice to make. We can be a stumbling block, or a stepping stone.

I went to school with a lot of kids who were never allowed to go to movies or listen to secular music. I wonder how many of them I offended by coming to school talking about the movies I had seen, or walking down the halls humming secular songs?

I am sure that I am often still a stumbling block to some folks, but with the Lord's help, I am striving to grow from a stumbling block to a stepping stone.

Blessings,
Vicki